Johnnie Read online

  “And no butter and no sugar and no coffee. In Mexico—”

  Magda’s voice was sweet as molasses but underneath there was that glint she showed when she talked to Johnnie. “You want to be king, don’t you? If you aren’t there when the enemy is defeated, the people will elect a president. How would you like to see your stableman, Kraken, president?”

  Johnnie leaned around to put in his oar. “Abraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin. He made a good president.”

  “Who asked you?” Magda retorted. Her green eyes widened in disgust. “How did you get in this car?”

  “I’m following you,” Johnnie said. “Like you told me.”

  “I wanted you left behind. You’re stupid. I meant to tell Dorp.” She shook her head. “That’s what comes of hurrying, upsetting everything.”

  “I didn’t want to come. That’s what I wanted to tell you upstairs. I have to—”

  “Keep quiet,” she ordered.

  “Okay, Princess.” He sighed back to the front.

  “You are speaking to the Duchess Magda!” Rudolph thundered. Only it came out a squeak not a thunder. “Who is this oaf, Magda?”

  “I’m no oaf.” Johnnie swung back again with his fist doubled. “I’m Johnnie Brown of Texas and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll button up your lip with that oaf stuff. Before I paste you one—”

  Janssen had swung to face him. His hand might have been on a gun. It was in his pocket.

  Magda spoke quietly. “No violence, Janssen. Remember, we’re in New York.”

  Rudolph squeaked, “This fellow—he is threatening me—me!”

  Magda apologized. “It is unfortunate. I will tell Dorp. So many new men, untrained. He will be disciplined.”

  Johnnie had a mouthful more to say but the car was turning in a gate now. Two men on guard were talking to the chauffeur. Johnnie looked out the window. He could see the silver of a river below. Must be Riverside Drive, he figured. He’d seen pictures of it in the New York Sunday papers. This big house set back from the street was evidently one of the few relics of days when New Yorkers lived in homes. All around it were towering apartments.

  The car passed inspection. It followed the smaller lead sedan up to the porte-cochere. Magda spoke to Johnnie as he waited to help her out of the car. Her face was frozen. “If you have any sense at all, you will keep quiet.”

  Johnnie put out his chin which was far from chinless. “I’ll keep quiet so long as that false alarm doesn’t start any more of that oaf business. I’m an American and no tin horn prince is going to shove—”

  She didn’t wait for him to finish. Rudolph had been unpacked by then. She left Johnnie with only a baleful green glare to remember her by. He took a lungful of air and followed.

  A real butler opened the door, knee britches, silver tray on his hand, and all the fixings. Dorp must have arranged things. The butler didn’t ask for tickets. The entrance hall was massive with broad marble stairs leading to a marble balcony. Johnnie goggled. He’d never even imagined anything like this. It was a regular palace. From above there was music and chitter chatter. The butler took all the wraps, handed them around to a flock of knee-britched assistants. He led the way up the marble stairs.

  Johnnie was right on Magda’s heels. He hoped there would be a place to sit down upstairs. He was getting tired of standing on his feet. Enough of that at camp without wasting a free night that way. The butler disappeared when they reached the balcony. Some of the party milling about there looked pretty curious at them. Johnnie didn’t wonder. It wasn’t a fancy dress ball but this bunch looked it. He eyed the marble benches along the wall but he couldn’t make a break for it as yet. The yellow velvet cushions were tempting.

  The man who came out of the ballroom door weighed about two hundred and ninety pounds, but he stood six feet two in his stocking feet. He was that much taller than Johnnie. He had a face all pouches, a prissy mouth, thin brown hair and a voice like a high school girl’s. “My dear Rudolph,” he burbled. “This is an honor.” He fussed with his white tie while he talked. “Magda, my love, how sweet of you to decide to come!”

  “Ruprecht invited me,” Rudolph said nastily. “The others insisted on coming too.”

  “But I wanted them. I love them.” His great arm enveloped Rudolph’s shoulders. “Now where can Ruprecht be?”

  “He’s over there, Ferenz,” Trudy pointed.

  The guy at the end of her finger was on a bench at the far corner of the balcony. He was the one doing a little smooching with the platinum blonde babe.

  “That’s Ruprecht,” Magda agreed with acidity.

  “Let me fetch him.” Ferenz’s tails switched half way to the bench before Ruprecht looked up. When he looked up, he grinned. He was one of the best-looking guys Johnnie had ever seen. He looked like a movie actor, the kind the babes went all out for. Maybe like Alan Ladd. Tall, almost six foot, blond, blue-eyed, and poured into his full dress suit.

  He left the babe flat and ambled past Ferenz to the group. “Hiya, Rudo,” he called. He was a little popped, maybe more than a little. He swayed when he clapped his brother’s shoulder and he held on to it. “See you brought the family.” He unloosed Rudy and beamed on Magda. “Hiya, Beautiful.” He pinched Trudy somewhere for she jumped and said, “Ow.” “Hiya, Toots. Well, I didn’t think old sourball Otto would let you come but here we all are together. That calls for a drink.” He pulled Rudolph to the wide doors.

  Ferenz lisped anxiously. “Wait a minute, Rupe. Just a minute, dear. When Shanks informed me that Rudolph was here, I arranged a little—” His face relaxed. There was a roll of drums as he was speaking. He nodded his head beatifically as the butler trumpeted, “His Royal Highness, Prince Rudolph of Rudamia!” There were gasps, applause, and a lot of craning toward the balcony. “Her Royal Highness, Princess Ermintrude of Trudamia. Her Highness, Duchess Magda of Trudamia.”

  “And entourage!” Ruprecht murmured. Entourage was a good fifty-buck word but it didn’t throw Johnnie. He was already thrown by Trudy stepping out on Ferenz’s arm. She should have looked like a midget hanging there but all of a sudden she really looked like a royal highness. She must have done this kind of performance before. The band struck up some kind of a march. The party, led by Magda and Rudolph, set out. Johnnie followed. But as soon as the others were surrounded by simpering women and bowing men, Johnnie ditched the parade. He’d seen the buffet over at the right. He sashayed straightaway toward it. He hadn’t known for some little time what those funny feelings were in his stomach. Now he knew. Food. The hamburgers he and Bill and Hank had put away at six o’clock weren’t exactly a full meal. This mess was a hungry guy’s heaven. Turkey and hams and a big pink rib roast, dishes full of everything.

  Johnnie heaved a plate at one of the gold buttons behind the table. “Fill ʼer up,” he suggested. From then on all he had to do was nod while Gold Buttons pointed to this and that and this. When there were about three layers he said, “Hold it.” He could come back for seconds, no rush for chow here. Everybody was too busy babbling around the royal entourage. Johnnie gathered up a napkin and a handful of silver. Big white napkins, the kind Mom had for company dinners back home. With a couple of fingers he managed to balance a cup of coffee. Three lumps of sugar, and cream you could cut with a knife. Ferenz must be (a) a farmer, (b) a hotel, (c) a hoarder in a big way.

  Nobody paid any attention to Johnnie when he walked out of the room. There wasn’t anyone on the balcony now. Johnnie picked the couch down below where Ruprecht had had the platinum babe cornered. He sort of wished the babe had been left over. But he didn’t need her now. He dived into supper. When he’d worked his way through the first two layers he had time to think. He wanted to think. It was essential that he think. Because he wasn’t asleep. He’d never fed this well in a dream.

  Being awake the first question was, how had he come to get mixed up in this screwy business? He was a little embarrassed by that one. He was always getting mixed up in something. Like
the time in San Antonio when he—he blushed above his ears. No sense getting sidetracked. That babe had been a honey. But there were no flies on Trudy. On Magda neither, if she’d just stop pawing over Rudo, the goon, and be human. Cut out the girl angle. What was it all about?

  Well, they weren’t Nazis. Because they were waiting for Hitler to hit the banana peel and he for one hoped they were right about it going to be soon. He’d like to finish up this war fast and get back home to Texas. On the other hand why were they scared of the F. B. I. if they weren’t Nazis? And why did Dorp talk German to Ottomkopf in public? And what about this royal highness stuff? Who were they trying to kid?

  Maybe the big fat nancy who ran this swell dump. Maybe they were putting on the dog to crash this party. Maybe, Johnnie considered with blissful excitement, maybe they were society jewel thieves! The bliss faded. Couldn’t be. Because none of them wanted to come to the party except Rudolph.

  Wait—a—minute! He doubled back to his plate. Would the dolls have dressed up like Christmas to sit home and eat wienies in Dorp’s house? Uh uh. They said they didn’t want to come to the party. Johnnie’s head nodded sagely. What quicker way could they get Rudolph to agree to coming than to balk him?

  The guns Magda and Janssen carried. The soldiers left behind, but each one hatted and coated for the street. They were probably outside now surrounding the joint. They would have had to come by subway because there were only two cars. Couldn’t be very big-time crooks with only two cars. Well, if there was any trouble he’d stick to Ruprecht. That Ruprecht looked like a good Joe. Tight or not you could tell that. The others—well, maybe Trudy was okay but the rest he wouldn’t trust as far as he could heave a jeep. As for pasty Theo and the goon, he definitely didn’t like them at all.

  Johnnie rubbed the last hunk of roll over his plate, tucked it in his mouth and chewed. The trouble was he couldn’t afford to get mixed up in any trouble. He was in the Army now. The C. O. simply wouldn’t understand that it was purely accidental. He let out a well-filled sigh. He’d better go in and corral a few chocolate éclairs, then get going. He’d never be missed. And a piece of that strawberry pie and another cup of coffee. His uniform ought to be back from the cleaners by now.

  He sat up suddenly. He couldn’t get going! He didn’t know where to go. He didn’t have any idea how to get from here to Dorp’s house. That’s what he got for arguing with Rudolph in the car instead of watching the scenery. There was one thing he could do. Ask Trudy where the house was. He anticipated a little trouble on that count. Trudy wanted him here. She’d said she might need him. Well, he wasn’t going to act as any stupe for jewel thieves.

  Better ask Magda.

  Better have the éclairs first. There might be a rush on them before he pried Magda loose from Rudo and got through wrangling with her. She reminded him of the kid sister. She’d rather argue than eat. Only Sis didn’t tell him to keep quiet and her eyes weren’t grama-grass green. He sighed again. He wished he were back home in Texas. But he perked up. Mom and Dad and the rest of the folks would get a big boot out of his being at a Lessering’s party. If that guy was one of the Lesserings.

  He stacked his dishes and cased the inside of the ballroom before entering. He didn’t want to be bothered by any more orders until he had dessert. He never really felt comfortable after a meal until he’d had dessert. Preferably a chocolate dessert. Or strawberry. No one seemed to be looking for him. He went back to the cafeteria. A couple of others had found it by now but none of the royal highness bunch.

  “More?” asked the gold buttons with the yon-Cassius look. Johnnie had learned that flap from Bill. It meant scrawny.

  Johnnie didn’t like the way the guy said it but there wasn’t any point in starting trouble with the boss of the supply train. “I’ve had enough of that junk,” he scowled. Then he smiled. “Now I want dessert. That one.” He pointed to the biggest chocolate éclair. “And some strawberry pie.” He’d missed the caramel éclairs on his first foray. “And that one. And another cup of coffee.”

  He made it out on the balcony without being spotted, headed back to his chosen spot. He tried the pie first. Real strawberries! And whipped cream, an inch thick. Curiosity was biting him worse than the need for food. Where was this Luxembourg? And where were Rudamia and Trudamia? If Bill were here, he’d know. Or he’d look it up in the Base library. Trouble with Johnnie was he’d never taken much to schooling. But he’d played right end two years with Texas A. and M. Bill hadn’t done that even if he did know Shakespeare like it was a book.

  Johnnie sampled the chocolate éclair. Look it up. He could look it up himself. A house this big and fancy would be sure to have a dictionary. He took his plate and cup and made his way to the marble stairs. Below there were several of the knee-britched fellows marking time. The one Johnnie approached was bow-legged as a cowhand.

  “Have you got a dictionary?” Johnnie asked.

  “Yes, sir. This way, sir.”

  He trailed along to a room at the left beyond the staircase. The flunky opened the door. “The library, sir. You will find the reference works over there, sir.” Over there was just a couple of miles away down the room.

  “Okay,” said Johnnie. This room had more books in it than the Carnegie library back home. They were stacked on shelves from the floor to the high ceiling. Bill would sure go for this library. Even Johnnie did. There was a real fire burning in the fireplace. Soon as he took a look at the dictionary—it wouldn’t be the dictionary, he knew better than that, it would be the encyclopedia—he’d stretch out on the couch by the fire for a smoke. Meantime he’d better look up those places while he had a chance. He didn’t take to this flying blind.

  There were plenty of high-backed velvet chairs pulled up in front of the shelves. Each one had a reading stand beside it with a little pin-point light attached. It didn’t look as if you could read by such a little light but it worked fine. Johnnie pulled out Lu, Ru, and Tr; stacked them beside him. His plate and coffee he set on the reading stand. That worked fine too. He lifted Ru to his lap. While he was thumbing for Rud, he finished the strawberry pie.

  The door at the other end of the room was opening softly. Johnnie froze. When he had the nerve he peered around the back of his chair. Magda was closing the door even more softly. He ducked back again fast. He didn’t want her catching up to him, bossing him around, not until he’d finished eating. Evidently she didn’t see him because she didn’t say anything. The back of his chair was to the door and the coffee cup shaded the pin-point. He took another cautious peek. She was standing in front of the fire, her back to the reference corner, facing the door.

  Carefully Johnnie took up the chocolate éclair in his fingers, bit off a hunk. He didn’t have to chew; it melted in your mouth. Magda was waiting for someone. She didn’t wait long. The door opened again, not so carefully. Johnnie didn’t dare take a glimpse just yet. Anyone coming in the door could see him if he stuck his neck out. He didn’t need a look. He knew the voice. It was the only male voice he’d heard tonight that he’d want to hear again. It was Ruprecht.

  Johnnie heard him close the door and walk over toward the fireplace. He was saying lazylike and still kind of tight, “What’s the game, Gorgeous? Psst, meet me in the library at midnight.”

  Johnnie took a quick one at his watch. It wasn’t midnight. It wasn’t even ten o’clock.

  Magda said, “Oh, Ruprecht!” She sighed. She was putting it on thick for him. “I had to see you. I had to explain to you.”

  “Explain what?” There was a click, click. Johnnie peered fast. Ruprecht had set two quart bottles of champagne on the table by the couch.

  “Ruprecht, please.”

  “Don’t be a ninny, Magda. It’s worked, hasn’t it? Dorp smoked out Ottomkopf. Otto smoked out Rudolph. You’ve the Rudamian ring right now on your stunning finger, sweetheart. What is there to explain? Nary a hitch. How about a little toastie?”

  “Ruprecht!”

  Johnnie ducked back fast. He took a
bite of éclair, a big one. That was the glint in the voice. But she didn’t follow it up with a bawling out. There was silence, so much silence he could hear himself swallowing chocolate custard. Maybe they were sneaking up on him right now. He crammed the last end of éclair in his mouth and, braving it, peeked. He almost choked. You couldn’t have wedged a hair off Magda’s head between those two!

  He couldn’t move. That was a clinch that was a clinch. And the kiss that went with it could have taught Gable and Turner plenty. But Johnnie wasn’t the only appreciative audience.

  In the doorway stood Trudy.

  3.

  Trudy didn’t look particularly surprised, nor particularly angry. She was just plain disgusted. She ought to have coughed or something to let on to the hot cargo that she was present. Of course, so should he, Johnnie, but that was different. He hadn’t barged in on them; he was here first. The strain was getting him. Something had to break up that clutch. If Magda didn’t open her eyes pretty soon and see that look on Trudy’s mouth, he’d drop the encyclopedia and take the consequences.

  He relaxed when Trudy said one word. “Cut.”

  Ruprecht beat Magda to it. He swung around as if he’d been kicked in the pants. Magda just tossed back her head and ran her hands down her hips. Johnnie didn’t whistle. He chewed.

  Ruprecht said, “For God’s sake, Trudy. You should be belled.”

  Trudy didn’t pay him any heed. She kept her eyes on Magda. Her mouth was curled up. “I thought I’d find you here. And I thought you’d be at it.”

  Magda said, “Sneak.”

  “Rudolph is waiting for you. He’s going to make a speech.” Her little smile wasn’t friendly. “Hand in hand with his betrothed. You’d better snap out of it. Maybe Rudolph can’t make with the pash like Rupe but he is the oldest. And he doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

  Magda begged eagerly, “You mean he’s going to announce—”

  “At Ferenz’s special request. And you’d better get that kissed look off your mouth. Rudolph is dumb but not that dumb.”